The Breath of Dawn book review

Kristen Heitzmann has done it again. Her new novel, "The Breath of Dawn" is outstanding. She has woven a delightful tale of romance, suspense, and mystery. The plot keeps us on the proverbial "edge of our seats" from the very beginning until the end. Kristen skillfully interweaves her characters from past books and you feel as though you've rejoined their lives almost from where you left them.

Quinn Reilly is doing her best to stay under the radar and hide from her past. Along comes handsome Morgan Spencer, a widower trying to raise his adorable two year old daughter Olivia. Morgan is still trying to recover from the loss of his wife. Morgan jumps in to help Quinn when she is threatened by the man whom her testimony sent to prison. What ensues from there is an exciting, intriguing plot which holds your interest with each turn of the page! If you are a Kristen Heitzmann fan you will not regret buying this book! You will thoroughly enjoy it from the very beginning until the exciting conclusion!

Free to Praise?

What is freedom? I'm sure that many look at that question on this day and just read right past it. After all that question has been asked so many times and in so many ways. But for my benefit I choose to ask that question, and to attempt to find an answer which fulfills my search. Webster's says that freedom is "the quality or state of being free". I think that is appropriate for my purpose, because I believe that freedom must begin within a person's heart. Within my heart I embrace the quality and knowledge of my freedom. I do not think your average American comprehends what freedom really means. After all, most of us have never had to fight for our freedom. We have not had to fight for our freedom of speech, nor fight for the right to do as we please, whether it be work or play. The best part of our freedom is that we are free to worship as we choose.
On this day that our country celebrates our freedom, we can celebrate our right to worship; the freedom to praise our God and Savior.

"Therefore I will praise you, LORD, among the nations; I will sing the praises of your name." Psalm 18:49
“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free."
Luke 4:18

Jelly Beans & Vessels

My grandson, Jackson, loves jellybeans. He will tell you “I like beans!” He will do what his mama says if she persuades him with jellybeans. He is such a delightful, fun-filled package of energy! I love to watch him play and run around, but when you are outside or in a store you need to have some control over that extremely fast, little energetic boy and jellybeans provide an incentive to get him in line! What I’ve noticed though is he will eat the first few, but after a bit he will eat the flavored sugary outside and spit out the gummy mess that’s left inside. He does that with fruit snacks too; he will get the flavor out of them and then spit out the gooey mess! I remember doing the same thing when I was a kid. I didn’t like jelly beans or anything that was gooey and gummy like them. It was a texture thing!!

I’m sure you are wondering where I am going with this. Am I just telling you about my wonderful grandchildren? Because I have 6 of the most delightful amazing grandchildren ever – 3 of each - 3 girls and now 3 boys! While that is wonderful and fun, that’s not really what I was thinking on. I was reminded how sometimes we, or myself, as Christians just like the sugar coating of the Gospel. You know we take the verses we like that give us that flavored sugary feel good taste good feeling but then we want to spit out the gooey mess or the hard to swallow instructions.  I am reminded of Paul’s teaching in 2 Corinthians 4:7: “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.” We are the vessels which God uses; I know I am weak and sometimes my outer shell or clay is flawed and warped (okay 99.9% of the time). This is like an inside out jelly bean, the flavor is inside. The treasure within is worth chewing through the gooey mess.

 I love the thought that I am a vessel; that God would choose to use something as flawed and broken as I am. I spend a lot of time wondering how God can use someone like me who struggles with all my physical disabilities. I sure can’t go on a mission trip or to a mission field, BUT I can write. Maybe that’s the reason God keeps putting these thoughts in my head and on my heart?  While I am contemplating the fact that I am a vessel another favorite passage from 2 Timothy comes to mind:

²⁰ Now in a large house there are not only gold and silver vessels, but also vessels of wood and of earthenware, and some to honor and some to dishonor. ²¹ Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from these things, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work.

Wow! Double wow! I want to be a vessel for honor, sanctified and useful and prepared for God’s use! This passage pushes away the doubts and fears and feelings of my own worthlessness. God has a plan for me and I am still a useful vessel. He can repair the flaws or put a patch on them. Whatever he chooses, I choose to serve Him to the best of my ability.

And I‘m sure I can find an empty vessel to fill with jelly beans for Jackson & Nana!

Is Blogland like Neverland?

There are moments in time when I think that there are no obstacles that I cannot overcome, just like Neverland. Then I find myself faced with an issue or dilemma that I cannot work through or I cannot see past that problem. Back pain is like that problem, on good days I think of all the wonderful fun things I would like to do with my grand kids ~ for instance take them to the zoo and see everything through their eyes~imagine what it would be like to be a child again and see the elephants or giraffes or monkeys!! Oh my! Those things are still wondrous to me and to think of how the kids see them. It's just overjoyful (not sure if that's a word)!
BUT then I remember I can't walk for any distance~ I can't really even stand up for any length of time. Is this a pity party? Yeah probably. In Neverland Peter Pan can fly & Tinkerbell can too. They don't have problems getting around. Neverland is not perfect though. Neverland has it own huge problem~Captain Hook. And didn't you feel a little bit sorry for the Lost Boys? Yeah they had each other and all that fun stuff, but they were Lost and without parents to guide and direct and love them.
There are no happy wonderlands without problems; the key to living life and dealing with those obstacles in our wonderland or neverland is prayer and contentment. Contentment can be difficult to achieve. Paul teaches on contentment in the book of Philippians chapter 4 in the New Testament.
^"11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength."
This passage is the answer to my pity party. Sometimes its very difficult to accept this as an answer because I would rather wallow in my self pity. I get a bad case of the "why me Lord?"s. Through much whining and pleading and praying for God to change my circumstances I finally remember to look for God's leadership and His invitation for me to draw close to the goal; again Paul's words in Philippians 3:
^"13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
I ask for God's strength to guide and direct my journey and lead me in the paths that He has planned for me.
Sorry to share my flaws & weaknesses with all of you in Blogland.

Eagles or Winged Monkeys?

eTurns out I can write (blog) its just tiny on my phone. Now that I discovered how to turn off the wi-fi I have 3G access. SO now what do I want to write? Today has been interesting - the girls always said when I used that word it was my nice way of saying No or ugly dumb stupid whatever. but I use it now because I don't know how to describe my day, kind of frustrating and disappointing. I feel the house I wanted so much slipping through my fingers- its just more than we can afford to pay and it would not be in Gods perfect plan for me to try & make it happen - not even to mention poor stewardship! I know God has the perfect place for us I just am getting a little antsy about the when!
So here am back on the path seeking direction and trying to stay away from the Oh-EE-OH soldiers & the Winged Monkeys!! Those things scared me to death when was little!!
I love the book of Isaiah especially 40:31! Who needs Winged Monkeys? with God I have Eagles!!!!

Finding my Yellow Brick Road

Wow! Is there a way I can hide or get rid of those earlier posts? From nearly 3 years ago? They're actually pretty funny to read now ~ I was very nearly incapacitated after my accident on August 15, 2009 ~ I was determined to finish moving & run the cottage & get all the girls school supplies~ I had to get them any clothing items they needed for school~in a nutshell I was determined to be Superwoman and never ever ever admit defeat yet whenI look back I believe that was the beginning of my undoing. Note the word "I" repeatedly used throughout this narrative. Perhaps I should have depended more on God and trusted Him for the answers!
Sitting on this side of the past 2 years and 7 months~ 5 surgeries later ~ I'm tired~ I'm smooth worn slick! After 14 years & 9 months I no longer work for the Baptist Childrens Home.
I'm kind of lost right now~ I'm searching for God's leadership and seeking His guidance to define and deliver me~ but this is a scary place to be in~ the boundaries are undefined. Where is my yellow brick road? Wouldn't it be great if there were a yellow brick road to guide us to the Emerald City and directly to God for answers? (Sidenote: I do think that God is a bazillion times more impressive and beautiful than the wizard was, I mean God's skekinah glory is so powerful that He had to put Moses in the cleft of the rock so he wouldn't be overwhelmed and killed by the power of His glory!!)
Meanwhile back to the yellow brick road ~ there is a path that leads to God ~ over and over the writer of the Psalms and other Biblical writers talk of the path to God. Psalm 23 "He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake." Psalm 25 "Show me your ways, LORD, teach me your paths." The path is there for us (me), even though it may not be all yellow brick, we (I) just have to seek it and follow it. We, no I, need to be so close to God seeking Him, walking with Him, letting His love wash over me, holding me in His arms of love, healing my brokenness, there are several songs I could just bust into singing right now, one that I used to sing that says
"For His blood was not just blood, of another spotless lamb
But His blood was precious blood for it washed the sins of man
And His blood it heals my body and it sets my spirit free
And I'm so glad this precious blood still flows from Calvary."
I want to document my journey because I know that God has great things in store, I know that He is not finished with my life yet, I just don't know what the next great adventure is. Over and over God keeps telling me to trust Him every step of the way, and I know if this is so important to God that it will be mind-blowing when I see and understand His plan for me!! I want to make sure that when I look back on this time I have reminders of what God has done for me. I have more stories to tell of this journey and how I got to this point, but I'll save them for another day. Soooohh ~ back to the yellow brick road ~ the old way is dead (ding dong the witch is dead) and I'm now a new creation created in Christ Jesus seeking the correct pathway to God. I'm sure I'll hit some rough spots (Lions & tigers & bears, oh my) in the road but I just need to keep my eyes on Jesus! I'm really not trying to throw in a bunch of cliches and cutesy phrases but it's really late and that's what keeps popping in my head so without further Adieu ~ So long farewell Auf Weidershen, Goodnight. . . . . .